Huh? That's what I want to know. When does my head catch up with my physical? Hey this isn't a rant, don't worry, but it's enough to do my head in at times. I was heading over to the next town to grocery shop today and something made me stop in the main street and go for a walk along the shops and I ended up in a lovely clothes shop named Clobber.
Now I'm going to say it was the jacket that subliminally called me in ... "Carol ... Carol ... come in and meet me Carol". That's my story and I'll stick with it okay? But the minute I walked into the shop my eyes fell on the most beautiful green boucle type materical, short jacket. I took it off the rack and looked, hmmm size 14, and it looked like a small 14, not going to fit. Plus I don't "do" short, I really don't need to draw attention to the fact my bulbous arse is hanging out the end of a short jacket.
A short discussion with the sales lady and I said, "love the jacket, love the colour, it's not going to fit".
She looked at me strangely and checked the jacket. "It's a size 14, it's the only one of this jacket in the store, it looks about right for you."
Who was she kidding, that jacket was NOT going to fit. So almost as if to prove a point I put it on. One arm in, hmmm, you know that went in easy. Other arm in, same deal. Shrugged the jacket on, and not only that but DID THE BUTTONS UP TOO! It fitted. It was a good fit, it was a nice fit and yet I still have room to move in that it would look good even looser.
I was jumping up and down (in my head of course, because to do that in the shop would just be weird yanno). Laid my money down on the table and bought it. Eh! It can be from the dogs for Christmas for me. Any excuse :-)
But it got me thinking about how I instantly saw the jacket, saw the size and equated it with the fact it wouldn't fit me. So that goes to show I still have a long way in the head to go for my mind to catch up with the physical body. I mean I know I've lost weight, I know my measurements are going down, I know I'm fitting into things I haven't fitted into for years (wearing my comfy old red tab Levis right now, haven't worn them for probably, well I won't even go there, for as long as I can remember). So whilst I *know* all of that, I wonder why it's taken so long to equate it with me, the physical me. Ahhhh such a mental game of gymnastics going on in my head right now. I'll get there.
So since the last tally, I've had another Christmas function, a very large group at the pub/restaurant in the next town. Score A+ for me. Warm chicken salad followed by a skinny latte.
SCORE: CAROL 5 and 3/4 -- CHRISTMAS (and birthday) FUNCTIONS 1/4
:-)
4 comments:
I found the same. It took a long time for my mental self image to catch up. I also found I wouldn't see the changes in the mirror. I had to see them in photographs. I did a google search at the time and found that its a common thing to happen!
Great stuff Carol. We had this discussion a couple of weeks ago at our SSS and a few of us said we still consider ourselves fat. It is weird, but your post covered it perfectly. We are showing the results but after years of being overweight it will take us a while to start to think of ourselves in any other way.
Keep up the good work.
Thanks Carol for sharing your story. I have nominated you for a blog award
http://mishsmash.wordpress.com/2012/12/24/a-versatile-blogger-nomination/
I sat here nodding as I read this. Granted, I have a long way to go in my journey but I am at the point where the losses equate to clothes size/s. I can't see it until I put on something that's a smaller size. Just last week Dylan persauded me to try on 4 dresses that have not fit in 4 years. One of them I tried on at the start of the round and it wasn't getting over my hips no matter what. I didn't want to try it on because in my head it was going to still be that tight. But, not only did I get it on but it zipped straight up! A little happy dance may or may not have followed. :)
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