I had a little melt down last night

I don't know what came over me, but I ended up in a puddle of tears.  I think it was the culmination of a long road, two rounds almost done and dusted.  My mum is in hospital and I'll be going down to look after her for a few days after she is released, and we're yet to know when that is.  The timing is not great, of course you would do anything for your family, but it's the last week, the last hurrah, I'll be down there with no gym, no support system (as in Mike), no familiarity.  I guess this is where Mish would come in and say this is a good thing, this is where I am able to adapt the skills I have learnt when life throws you a curveball.  But in the last week of the round?   Plus I'm now on three weeks leave from work which is a good thing, but in the lead up to this time off I've worked some fairly long straight days getting things in order so it's easy enough for my counterpart to pick up where I have left off.  And although I'm so pumped for Sydney and the Finale, it's a bit nervewracking too, having never gone to one before.

So the stress of everything completely hit me in the face last night and the tears flowed.  Poor Mike, he doesn't handle people crying very well, even me.  He said all the right things, did all the right things, but it still didn't stem the tears.

So what do I do to make myself feel completely wonderful (NOT!)  Once I composed myself again I get him to take my end of round photograph and they are horrible, we couldn't get it without a big ugly shadow behind me, which made my ass look bigger than it was.   Gaaaaah!

Not a good day yesterday.

But I will take it all on board and learn from it.   And apologise to anyone who crossed my path yesterday and I wasn't my normal happy self.

I will take these words on board and know that day by day things will be habit and curveballs in life will not send me off the deep end.  I guess one thing I know from this, is in the past the stress of everything would have turned me to food, and at least I didn't do that.  So that's a very good thing.

I will leave you with a happy photo taken of me last month on a rare trip to Melbourne.  Mike and I and oldest stepson went to the museum.  The day was dark and gloomy, but I know on this day I was happy and feeling quite chipper in my bright orange scarf.  No one can be sad whilst wearing a bright orange scarf, can they?!!!    :-)

Having said that, I better go grab that scarf and pop it in my suitcase, I'll need to resurrect that happy chipper self in the next few days looking after my mum.