Transformation : Face

Happy Australia Day everyone.  I hope that you've had a wonderful day and enjoyed the company of friends and family.  

I took my little training buddy for 3km walk up and down hills this morning.  We didn't set any records what with having to stop and pee at just about every lamp post (the dog, not me!!).  But what I did want to try out was the app I now have on my phone Runkeeper.   It worked a charm.  I love that every five minutes a voice tells you how long you've been walking or running, the distance you've travelled and what your pace is.    Plus you have the whole GPS map thing happening which was so accurate it even showed me on the map having walked at one stage from the middle of the road (which folk tend to do where I live, being that there are no paths) to the verge, when a car did come by. 

How this came to be, me even knowing about Runkeeper, was with my new found interest of running, one of the ladies at my work suggested I join their running group.  As in they have a facebook group that checks in with each other in an effort for each to run or walk 1000 kilometres in a year.   They are very encouraging as well, even to newbies like me running piddling amounts compared to their marathon type runs.  

Thinking 1000 kilometres may be impossible, but you know, when you break it down, it's only about 2.75 kilometres a day.  That's actually doable.    I've come in half way through January so I'm already behind the 8 ball.   But with Runkeeper you can track your runs.  You don't even have to have it on at the time, you can manually update afterwards.  So it's keeping a running total for me.

I'm very lucky with the support I get throughout this journey I am on.  I may talk about that in a future post.

So anyway ... TRANSFORMATION : FACE.   We were down at Australia Day festivities today while Mike played in the pipe band.  On the way back to the car I had him take a photograph of me, so I could compare it with one he took last year when we went to the muster.  

It's quite confronting looking at both photos side by side and I don't mind admitting I've shed a little tear tonight looking at them.  I hadn't even yet started 12wbt at that stage, I started in Round 2 of 2012 in May.   And even that makes me sad that I waited around (wasted) another 3 months of my life in that unhappy state.  So that's a lesson to be learnt in itself, and one that I will never repeat.  No more waiting around till tomorrow for something I want to happen today.  :-)

Transformation : hair

I've never really been that adventurous with my hair.  Getting foils is like walking on the wild side for me!  I have a hair dresser, she's a flipping magician really, always asking ... BEGGING actually ... to let her do something different with my hair.  Now considering that she has blue hair herself, many piercings and tattoos (and as of last weekend became a Tough Mudder no less), her idea of different and my idea of different may be two entirely different differents!!  So to date I've told her thanks but no thanks.

But something came over me yesterday when I visited the salon.   I had been pinning some short hair on pinterest and so it had been in the back of my mind.  And I sat and said "do it".  She looked at me agog.  And I said "do whatever you want".

Let's face it, what's it worth, we're transforming our bodies, so why not transform our whole look.   I think that might be a bit of my problem, sometimes I still feel fat.  I know I'm not, well not as much anyway, I'm fitting into just about mostly 14's now.  But I still feel like the same old me at times.   But that may be because I'm looking into the mirror and seeing the same old me, albeit a smaller version of the same old me, but me nonethless.  My face hasn't really changed.  Well the size of it has, and the double (sometimes triple) chin has gone, but the face package of me hasn't really changed.

So I decided to go different and she worked her magic yet again.  Still movement in it, but it's short and I love it.  And I did so enjoy copping all the compliments I got from work today.

Maybe *NOW* I will accept that the WHOLE me is changing, transforming, growing.

Woooo woooooo!

I got wolf whistled today by a stranger, a mechanic working in a garage. Should I be affronted??  Hell no, I was going to do a blockie and walk past again!!

I do believe this is a first.  I have NEVER been wolf whistled by a stranger before.  Go me !! 

Couldn't wait to get home and tell hubby. ;-) 

Running with the Bulls

Oh yeah!

So this afternoon seemed like a great afternoon to go for a jog.  I announced to Mike that in preparation for the Market to Mount fun run next month, I might see if I can run up Mt. Noorat.  Don't get excited, it's not that big, but it would be a good training run.  Being that both of us have never gone up the Mt. Noorat walking track before, Mike said he'd come as well.  I could jog while he would walk and take photos, some inspiration for his oil paintings that he likes to do.  Win - win.

It was quite warm, I knew it would be, so I had slopped on the sunscreen.  But OH GOD THE FLIES!!!  I'm glad I'm not a vegetarian because the amount of flies I snarfed up my nose and in my mouth as I was running was nothing short of phenomenal.  I wonder if Mish's calorie counter has the count for flies, hmmmm?

Now this is private property and it's so very good of the owner to allow the public to use this, but the track, well it wasn't much of a track in parts, my legs are now scratched from the undergrowth in the scrubby bits, and stupid me didn't even think of the possibilities of snakes.  Giving me the heebie jeebies thinking of it now though.

But I was going great guns, got out of the scrubby bit and then came to face off with a bull guarding his bit of the track.  Well I thought it was a cow to start with until he stood up.  There were three others like him just up on the left.  Hmmmm, what to do?  I don't actually know how fast bulls can run, but then again I have seen the running with the bulls in Pamplona on telly and they look like they can run pretty fast.   

Okay, take stock of the situation.  Mike had caught up to me by this stage.  I asked whether he thinks we should just wander past the bull and his three mates and he reckoned if it was him alone he would (yeah right, big brave man, easy to say now) but me being Miss Scaredy Pants at the time decided not to.

OKAY DON'T JUDGE ME PEOPLE!!!   He was an angry assed bull,you didn't see his eyes as he stared at me daring me to run past him.  Truly!

Hey and I'm not kidding, there really is a teeny tiny track in there, can you see me? ha!  Why oh why wasn't I thinking snakes when I was there, this is truly giving me the scares now seeing where I was standing with bare legs! 

So disappointment aplenty we drove back home, but decided to stop at the lake, so whilst Mike lounged in the car and listened to the radio, I ran two laps of the lake, so all was not lost.

The kitchen smells delicious right now, I've just made a batch of banana bread (which I make in muffin tins) so I'll have breakfast sorted for some time to come now.  Enjoy your week.

Changes

I want to talk about changes in this post.  Some small perhaps insignificant changes, some big mind-blowing ones.  It's been taking my mind some time to decipher a lot of them, so I thought if I process out loud, so to speak, on the blog, it might help me make sense of them.

The main change I noticed this week...
You might be forgiven for thinking I'm doing a rendition of "Stop in the name of love" a la Diana Ross in this photograph, but do you notice anything strange?   I'm now wearing my wedding/engagement rings on my middle finger.  They've gotten so loose now that I'm afraid with one sweeping gesture of my hand they'll go flying off.  In any case they've been twisting and rolling around my ring finger quite uncomfortably and it's been driving me nuts, so I've resorted to wearing them on my middle finger.  This is a huge change for me, if you've been reading along on the blog I mentioned some time ago when I was at my heaviest how I used to have to hold my hand up in the air for about five minutes of a night to let the blood drain from my finger to be able to get my rings off.

The big snore...
Apparently (and I use the term APPARENTLY) I used to snore with the resonance that would shake walls.  Mike stopped short of saying it was my weight that was making me snore, good husband that he is, but I remember a time many months ago that I woke in the middle of the night and he wasn't in bed with me.  I walked down to the lounge room and saw him asleep on the couch.  He sheepishly told me the next morning he slept down there on the other side of the house because I was snoring.  When I quizzed him why he didn't sleep in a perfectly good bed in the spare room, he told me I was snoring so loudly it was reverberating through the walls.  And yet probably only 2 months into my first round of 12wbt, my snoring miraculously disappeared overnight.  Weightloss?  Coincidence?  Miracle?  You be the judge.

Who's that girl...
I caught sight of myself in the reflection of a window the other day and I honestly did not recognise myself.  As I was walking I had to keep checking myself out, oh how vain.  Of course I see myself in the mirror when I'm getting ready for work, or at the gym on the equipment.  But it was just that quick glimpse in the reflection of a shop window, that quick on the go glimpse, that had me realising just what I looked like now.  I think I walked six foot tall for the rest of the day.

I'm not invisible any more...
Now either the traffic is getting way more considerate or I've all of a sudden taken off my cloak of invisibility, because when I'm walking down the street I'm finding drivers are actually waving me to walk across the road when I'm waiting to walk across at a roundabout.  That would never happen pre-12wbt.  I could stand on a street in the pouring rain and no one would stop to let me across.   And I won't take the full credit, in case I've been caught up in a huge TAC campaign for courteous drivers, but it's happened on so many occasions now I have to think perhaps people are really seeing me.

Yum...
My taste buds have changed.  I'm loving mixing flavours and herbs and spices and I'm enjoying eating things I wouldn't previously have touched.   And I'm sitting down and really tasting my food.  No more sitting on the couch in front of the telly, well mostly not anyway.  We set a place at the dinner table and actually look at each other when we're eating, it's been nice.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T...
I surprised myself the other day.  Something occurred in our office from a "visitor" that was very disrespectful to the three of us working there.   And I stood up for myself and made myself heard.   Surprised the heck out of me and the others in the office, I wondered where the confidence came from.  But I had my say and even though it probably didn't change things, I was glad that I was heard.  I was shaking by the end of it when I spoke up, but I'm not a doormat any more.

Relationships...
I can honestly say that my relationship with my husband has never been better.  Okay peeps, look away now if this is too much information, but freaking heck, he can't keep his hands off me.  I am now smaller in size than my husband has ever known me.  It's like we're discovering ourselves all over again.  Corny, but is it possible we are we falling in love again?  I don't know if these old bones can take it!  :-)

The outdoors...
I used to be a homebody couch sloth.  There, I've said it.  But okay, I still am a homebody, I love nothing more than to potter around home.  But I'm also loving the great outdoors.  I love getting out and about in the fresh air, feeling invigorated.  And to acknowledge it's so great to be active, healthy and alive!

Appearance...
I've noted that as I'm losing weight I'm taking way more care with myself, including a good skin care routine (whereas before it would be a scrub of the face and a slap of moisturiser), selecting the clothes I'm wearing to work rather just popping on whatever was closest that would fit me, enjoying my new shape with clothes. And having said that a huge shout out to a workmate Sharon, who is also doing 12wbt.  I am now apparently at the weight where she started her journey and she gave me a huge bag of clothes to go through and keep whatever I may need.  Although I have bought a few bits and pieces over the three rounds, I've not spent much at all (read: I've bought el cheapo getting by clothes), I now have some great quality well fitting clothes.  It's such a psychological boost to be wearing something that fits, rather than saggy baggy.  So thank you Sharon.

Encouragement...
I got a phone call from my bestie late the other night, and I know she'll be reading this.  I no sooner picked up the phone and I heard "I really hate you, but you know I love you, but I really REALLY hate you right now, even though I love you."  What the heck was Sonia on?  Then she told me she'd read my blog and my plan of fun runs and it motivated her enough to get on the treadmill there and then and run 2 kilometres.   Now bear in mind my bestie lives in Tasmania, so I don't get to see her very often at all (apart from Facetime, got to love Facetime!!!) but the encouragement she has been giving me, whilst she is on her own weight loss/fitness journey,  is nothing short of phenomenal.   So thank you Sonia.  Actually that wasn't a change, Sonia has always been encouraging, but I just wanted to put it out there.

So I guess the purpose to this post was to recognise the changes that are happening, embrace them, learn from them, love them and keep moving forward.

Goals

I've always been a bit of a wing and a prayer girl, and apart from just hoping I get through yet another year, I've sadly not been much of a goal setter.  Just aimlessly wandering through life and taking things as they come.  Then where does it get you?  Twenty years down the track and 40 kg heavier and wondering how on earth that happened.

And now all that has changed ... thanks Mish!   I'm quite enjoying putting things on my list and ticking them off once achieved.  Thinking grand and then working out how to get there.  Building my training up like little building blocks until I think WOAH, did I just run all those kms, or did I just lift that weight, or hey was that just me looking back from the window reflection! tee hee.

So after that wonderful feeling that I would just love to bottle from the Surf T Surf fun run, who ever thought a feeling of exhaustion could feel so good!!?? I have started thinking further afield.  Armed with Google, advice from friends, and general chit chat, I have set up some running goals that I want to be able to work towards, with an ultimate goal just over 12 months from now.

* Sunday 17th February 2013
Market to Mount Fun Run (5km)
A run from the Derrinallum Recreation Reserve, through town, to the top of Mount Elephant.   Yep, well there's a grand plan finishing with a grueling run up a volcano nearing the end of the 5k.

* Friday 22nd February 2013
Noorat to Terang (5km)
In my early plans this was going to be my first fun run, well I got ahead of myself a couple of weeks ago and so glad I did.  I'll be a bit more seasoned in this one.  From all indications, this one is a bit low key, you register on the evening and I quite fancy thinking I will be running from one town to another town.

* Sunday 26th May 2013
Run the Gap (6km)
Looking at the photograph on the first page of this website, this is quite a different run, seeing the girls wearing gloves, jacket and beanie.  Yep, I imagine it will be cold in Halls Gap in May.  I have always loved Halls Gap, actually Mike and I have quite often mentioned we would move there in a heart beat.  So I love the idea of doing a fun run in this very special place.

* August 2013
Goal :  Be able to run 7km non-stop.

* Sunday 17th November 2013
Run Geelong (6km)
I would love to do a fun run in my old home town.  And if truth be known, it's more so that my mum and possibly my in-laws might be standing at the finish line and see me finish.  Yep, 48 years old and still want mum to be proud.

* December 2013
Goal:  Be able to run 10km non-stop

* Sunday 5th January 2014
Surf T Surf (10km)
Yes I plan to try the iconic Warrnambool fun run once again.  But this time attempt the 10km.  Possible?  Who knows.  It would be a great test with my next big grand plan just round the corner.

* February 2014
Goal:  Be able to run 12.5 km non-stop

* March 2014
Run for the Kids (15km)
I was talking to my friend Sharon at work today and she runs this race and said it's such a fantastic feeling, you get to run in places that are usually off-limits to foot traffic, and it's quite emotional running for such a good cause.  I instantly knew as we were talking that this was it, this was my 12 month (or a wee bit over) grand plan.


WOAH!  I look like I'm turning into an all or nothing kind of girl.  But there's the plan.  Pie in the sky stuff?  Who knows.  As long as these 48 year old legs hold out or my "hinges" don't ache, that's the grand plan.  I showed Mike before and he looked at it goggle eyed.  Not in awe at my running hopes, wants and dreams.  But the thought of all that waiting around for me to finish!  Gotta love the support crew.

Emazon

Wow, it was a pretty full on afternoon yesterday with Emazon.  I was lucky enough to be a participant in her Stand Your Ground 1 workshop in Hamilton.  Apart from seeing the You Tube videos I really didn't know what to expect.  When a blonde woman with a husky kind of voice entered the room with such presence, I just knew this was she.

Presence, yep that's what I would call it.  Without sounding naff, there was almost an aura about her.  There was no mistaking she was in total control and really wanted us all to get the best out of ourselves.  We went on a journey almost from A to Z on a jet plane.  From self doubt and loathing and lots of emotions like that, I think we all came out of it at the end with a positiveness for the future, knowing we had the ability to change, knowing we had the ability to block out the negativity and let in only the positivity, knowing it was okay to say no, it was okay to want and EXPECT the best.  It's all so hard to explain.  It's more so a feeling I have right now, an excitement if that makes sense at all, and a hope I can put into practice the sense of self that I left with.

As for the physical fight training, oh my goodness, I never knew I had it in me.  It was pretty full on and by the end I was gasping for breath, physically spent, wringing wet from sweat and felt so pumped up like Rocky Balboa after a championship fight, it was incredible.  I have never boxed so hard, hit another person so hard (don't worry, she was protected, and I really don't have any experience of hitting a person like that anyway), and at all times being present in the moment with a clarity I found astounding.

I just know that all of this goes hand in hand with the work I'm doing on my weight.   It's all connected - mind - body - siprit.  That's why I feel like this time it's different, this up and down yo yo I've been on all my life is stopping and this time ... THIS TIME ... I'm fixing myself, all parts of myself.  Anyone can follow a diet, anyone can follow an exercise plan.  But it's the head stuff that has done me in each and every time.  

Between Michelle Bridges and 12wbt and Emazon and my own work on myself, I just know that this time I will succeed.  I already am.